you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
