You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
