Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
