no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
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I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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