Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
