the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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