Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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