i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
