the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
