we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Bring me that man meat
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
