Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
