I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
