my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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