I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
