I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
