I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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