Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
