So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She bit a glass in half.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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