I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
