I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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