Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The air was thick with penises
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
