So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
