Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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