he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
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I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
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Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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