goodnight i made you a song goodbye
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
