i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
