just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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