i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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