btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
