ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
