I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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