Yo dont text me then not text me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize