Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
