I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
