Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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