It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
