Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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