So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
