I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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