I could make wine with my vomit
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
