I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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