would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
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Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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