when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
