If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
