My friends, they love my intelligence
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
they need to just BURY HIM!
someone owes me an orgasm
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
