But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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