So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
