Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he thought i was a dude.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
