I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
