got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
