just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
