what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize