Where is the hickey?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
