Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
either way he was missing a nipple.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
