Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
