Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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