you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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