Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
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Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
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does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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