i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
