Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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