I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
