the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I accidentally burped into my bong.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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