i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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